6/30 ~ Notch

I was really mad with my Ex... so here is another one... This will be featured in a future book called, THIRSTY!...

Enjoy. Quarantine made me really bold... so I am really scared to share this. Just know I was #venting ... Ya Girl was sooooo madd. I couldn't sleep and HAD TO WRITE...


#NOTCH





when you used to go by he/his


Your heart used to skip a beat 

when i held your hand


you had a glimmer in your eyes 

when you looked at me

you flashed me the biggest grin 

from cheek to cheek

when you spot me in the crowd


but now


you don't remember my name

you must have hit your head

or smoked too much weed

bc last time I checked


you were the one that ghosted


I was too caring for you

I was too much an atm for you

an opportunist playground

was jaicee to you


now i know

fuck your new pronouns they/them ****( I was mad . this is not how I really feel. this is what #theshadow does. I am doing my shadow work as we speak)***

(back to the #regularlyscheduledventing) ...

you fed me lies 

 you promised would take care

of the people that took care of you

"word is bond"

the bond broke 

with the new moniker

parading around like you a battle rapper

but you don't have the audacity to remember my name

i guess our relationship wasn't the same

you became an asshole

you put other male feminists to shame

you took advantage of me at my weakest moment

it's how you get all your ladies

modern day pied piper

ladies watch your brains

he's coming to rob you of your intelligence 


the hours we past the time on the phone

talking about ancestors homelands

and birth families

trips we were going to take together

the motherlands we were going to resurrect

my heart speeds up with every breath

with every line

with every syllable of every word


If you respect women so much

how did you reconcile our after 11 trysts

how do you sleep at night

knowing all my money you spent

how do you breathe

when the conscious words you sang

had my aura all over it

when your lion's roar

was enough to activate my whisper

Thank God for social distancing 

because this notch on your belt for a year

would be in front of your house

burning your clothes

shattering your CDs

and spreading the newfound knowledge 

this feminist is a full on narcissist 

it is time to boycott the leon music

i can get over the ghosting

because of your extracurricular activities 

because of your new name and philoslophy


trust and believe the next time I see you

around the way

on the red carpet

please let me witness Miguel slap you silly

for forgetting a girlfriend 

that inspired a whole album

or maybe that is just it

i was your muse 

nothing more

minus my paychecks 

and our generation

so you could finish an album

and when you were done with me

you fixed the notch on your belt

turned off your phone

leaving the Brooklyn apartment of our first time

so far in your Rearview mirror

your grandmother and grandfather are gonna have to check you

for being so disrespectful.

{6.apr.2020}

#napowrimo2020

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